Friends...
Riiiiiight...
We friends are a fickle bunch. It seems like the more you know about your friend the more ammo you have (T or F?) It's called "The Clip." You used to have a clip loaded so that if you ever roasted each other you would have some good jokes. Clips used to be fun. Recently I had a clip unloaded on me about how bad a friend I've been. Yikes...I thought friends didn't hold those things against folks.
Wrong.
I think about the relationship between Jesus and the disciples (Friends?) and how many awesome friends I have. Sometimes we are Mercutio and Romeo, other times Brutus and Caesar (c. Shakespeare). We're all human, God knows, and given enough rope are bound to hang ourselves. When did we start taking our friends out too?
Based on all of this, how do you define "Friend" in your life? Based on your experiences, how much about your friends do you want to know (and how much should they know about you?) How many circles do you have?
Deep within this are questions of Trust and the Autonomy of the Individual (ability to be a SELF). Try not to be cynical here. You have friends. But they are like Porsches. Great to have until its time to get one fixed. In everything, maintenance is a necessity.
Again, another real convo is needed.
BANNED WORDS: Associate, any version of "Keep your friends close...", etc.
Let's Go.
posted by CaesarKwest at
2:27 PM
13 Comments:
It's funny because I used to be very insular and keep my info to myself. Then I felt bad because I would do a lot of "care sessions" with my friends and they would know little about me. I wanted my Christian life to be transparent. Now all of my friends know all of my business (because hey, folks talk. We said something to someone for the first time around 6 mo. and haven't stopped since). The more WHO know...
In all of this I still love my friends dearly and consider them giants among men and women. I'm seeing that the same "DESPARATION" that we laugh at in dating also takes place in friendships ALL THE TIME. Fun stuff really. We're just strangers here anyway.
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Man, It's only right and necessary that I weigh in. sometime around 2001 I quoted Panero in that
"I ain't got friends I got enemies, so if they with me, that means they're my brother"
no way did I figure a BlackPlanet wall quote would still ring true. I tell anyone who asks that eventually, no matter, how much good I do to a freind, girlfriend, best friend, Im going to say or do something that could potentially undo it ALL.
but friendship is tough, because it literally IS a ship, like a cruise, sometimes after being on a ride with people you think you'll ride with forever, you realize they having a totally different stop than you, prepared different luggage than you, and started on the trip for a totally different reason than you.
thats why I really don't have "friends" too often, they're way less consistent than enemies. but brothers are forever
the man speaks truth...Ruth. No two people could speak about it better than CaesarKwest and Clemenza. For the record, I'm always grateful to be on that ship
Friends to me are people you can tell your innermost hurts to and they will listen and let you cry on thier shoulder.Also friends to me are people who when they ask "how u doing?" will not take "im good" for an answer :) people who will hold you accountable and let u know when u slipping tripping and everything else.Last they are people you can count on when things get rough- they point to God not excuses.real friends they tell you when u got something in your nose!
-jelly!
Jelly got heat too. All those make sense
You know what inspired this? No friend in particular, but the onslaught of this "25 Things About Me You Didn't Know" which almost begs for us to tell our deepest business to folks who don't care.
It's called "casting your pearls among swine."
something about that 25, just went over the edge...I did the 16, purely/mostly for comedy's sake...with a few bones kinda tossed in there...that 25 though...
Realisticly, regardless of what type of relationship you have with someone, at the end of the day they're still human. And it's been my experience that the most prevalent characteristic of all people is selfishness. People don't incorporateyou into their lives because they "love" you. They may honestly believe they do but when you get to the core of it, it's about something you give them: companionship, a sense of belonging, someone to influence, a person to accept their otherwise undesireable love. Regardless of moral or legal objections, friends will remain friends as long as both parties continue to operate within the realm of the other's desires. You want to see who your friends really are? Step outside of THEIR comfort zone.
Wow...thank you for the discussion.
Over the last 2 years I have really struggled with "friendship" but I think Clemenza (lol) gave a great analogy on how we all enter our friendships with different expectations, wants and needs. I think when you accept this concept you can better understand why some friends "fall off" and its completely natural.
Jelly also made a great point which I think I am going to incorporate starting today..."I'm good" or "I'm chilling" cant always be an acceptable response from a friend. Our intrinsic selfishness allows this to be acceptable because we are so concerned with our own self preservation.
I think if we really take the time to get to know people at their core we would have better friendships far less "pseudo-friends" aka "associates."
That 25 things is a beast..I've learned some things that gave me great insight to some people and I've also learned some things I never wanted to find out via FB. lol
Wow.. This is why I say that the cyber world is going to be the end to everyone. We say, write, and post things without thinking about what it means to others. I know everyone is their own person but aren’t we a product of who we love and hang around as well? I think there is a reason for everyone that is in your life. God has placed them there and it is your duty to keep nurturing that relationship that he has blessed you with. You shouldn’t take them or that reason for granted. Furthermore, if you call a person your friend then no matter what, you should know( deep down inside) that they will always have your back throughout their/your/our entire BS!
A friendship is one of our many ships we have in life. I think people forget that a friendship is also a relationship and those have to be fueled with communication, compassion, honesty and trust. When was the last time you told your friends you loved and appreciated them for who they are? Sometimes we take our friends for granted and forget about why they became our friends in the first place. Yea we are growing up and pursuing different paths but that doesn’t mean you can’t touch base even if it is for a second. ( I don’t mean by text message, twitter account or a random status update on face book) You have got to reach out sometimes.
~a friend :D
I'm preparing a sermon now about how technology has drawn us further apart from one another. Then I realized how guilty I am of leaning on technology. I think I figured out what I'm giving up for Lent.
crazy, i recently was telling a friend about friendship.
i would define a friend (because once you are a friend you are true, once the true is gone the friend is too, in my book at least) as a person that loves you enough to always be honest with you and yours.
the friends in your life are the people that you can go lifetimes without seeing or speaking to, but, you always pick up where you left off. the love you enough to give you enough "rope" to learn that you are making a mistake, but not enough "rope" to hang yourself with it. regardless of what happens in friendships, there are never regrets, just short (or long) teaching moments.
when i remember the rest, ill revisit, lol.
oh, i agree with clemenza as well... but ships need a crew, thats where the friends come into play...
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