Proctor Day 1: What's your PREACHER name?
St. Petersburg for a lot of reasons reminds me of Godfather II. Lots of palm trees and Hyman Roth figures with their shirt off. It's funny because, even as I type, I wonder whether I'm Roth or Corleone in this shot (on the beach, Roth. During these meetings, Corleone for sure. I love his face in that shot)
But no matter, it's February and I'm on the beach turning into dark meat, refueling my vocabulary for social justice and breaking bread with um...the best preachers on the planet. Hale, Haynes, Wright, Fullner, Forbes...et cetera.
Got me to thinking about the Black Church and those southern preachers (my roommate is from Mi-CrookedLetterCrookedLetter-I). You know the ones, who eventually moved to Chicago (we're all from MS or LA)...the C.T. Vivian and T.D. Jakes of the world. Why do those names sound so cool?
Because they're preacher names. Easily the best names on the planet. IT'S TIME TO BRING BACK PREACHER NAMES. Here's how you figure out your preacher name.
Easy:
1. Take the first and middle initials and combine them with your last name.
2. Add "the Third". For some reason, always THE THIRD.
"J.M. DeShazier, III"
3. If that works for you, you're DONE. BUT, Those with out the box last names (c. DeShazier) have permission to change their name to be more Mississippi-ly if it doesn't work. Try these:
-Walker
-Franklin
-Williams
-Sterling
ONLY one of these will work. If you've done it right, you'll feel yourself becoming more southern. More buttons than necessary will appear on your suit. Your hair will grow EITHER short and black, or long and permish. You will preach better.
POST YOUR PREACHER NAME
"J.M. Sterling, III" (from Natchez, MI)
But no matter, it's February and I'm on the beach turning into dark meat, refueling my vocabulary for social justice and breaking bread with um...the best preachers on the planet. Hale, Haynes, Wright, Fullner, Forbes...et cetera.
Got me to thinking about the Black Church and those southern preachers (my roommate is from Mi-CrookedLetterCrookedLetter-I). You know the ones, who eventually moved to Chicago (we're all from MS or LA)...the C.T. Vivian and T.D. Jakes of the world. Why do those names sound so cool?
Because they're preacher names. Easily the best names on the planet. IT'S TIME TO BRING BACK PREACHER NAMES. Here's how you figure out your preacher name.
Easy:
1. Take the first and middle initials and combine them with your last name.
2. Add "the Third". For some reason, always THE THIRD.
"J.M. DeShazier, III"
3. If that works for you, you're DONE. BUT, Those with out the box last names (c. DeShazier) have permission to change their name to be more Mississippi-ly if it doesn't work. Try these:
-Walker
-Franklin
-Williams
-Sterling
ONLY one of these will work. If you've done it right, you'll feel yourself becoming more southern. More buttons than necessary will appear on your suit. Your hair will grow EITHER short and black, or long and permish. You will preach better.
POST YOUR PREACHER NAME
"J.M. Sterling, III" (from Natchez, MI)
posted by CaesarKwest at
4:23 PM
11 Comments:
This post has been removed by the author.
R.W. Gaines, III (I'm really the II anyway). Oh...I forgot to add Bishop to my name. Bishop R.W. Gaines, III
I was gonna go Bishop but Rob went Bishop so Ill be Rev. Dr. A.L. Lowery, III. Im also a II or Jr. but only nominally. In everything else Im first. I used to think I invented gospel rap. lol
Dang, bishop is taken? Ok, time to get creative...
The Divinely Capable Elder Rev. Dr. G.T. Crusor I (Yes, the first!).
I'm not big on Jr.'s, II's, and/or III's for my little man in the future but, I often refer to myself as the first as it is now (further leading to the assumption there is or will be a II or Jr). We'll see how I feel about that when the time comes.
And, I'm in a UCC church where (to my knowledge) there are no "Elders" but hey, it just sounds that much more southern.
Grant blew it out the water with that one. I need some time to rethink mine. I feel like I went a little conservative with my original joint. Somebody's gotta have "Prophet" or "Prophetess" somewhere in their name. That seems to be a new trend.
Breeve, you didn't invent gospel rap? LOL! In my book, you and J are the pioneers. Ya'll were my introduction into the genre as a fan and a producer.
This post has been removed by the author.
yea...I thought you invented it too Breev...I know this isn't the post topic but Rev. Dr. B.R. Evans has questions :-)
I feel that post coming soon. I got something for you though
I had to steal a name cuz Nuckolls just ain't sounding the part. So, I'm going with...
D.L Sterling, IV
how ya like them apples!
"4 generations" of preachers LOL
this is hilarious
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